After sharing the story on Facebook, I decided I should add a section to my Scouting site about how my son, Ian, and I came to host a Scout from Spain for this school year. It’s a long read, but hope it may inspire others to consider the possibility of sharing their home for a life-changing adventure of a worthy young man or lady.

In all actuality, this was Ian’s idea. He has been asking for a brother for a couple years. Some may know that his birth story was a very complicated one, I almost lost my life, and as a result, lost the ability to have more children. It was ok though, God knew Ian was what I needed and most definitely at the time, all that I could handle. His first year went nothing according to any books I read or any advice friends gave. At nine months, I was told he was developmentally delayed. By 18 months, he was diagnosed with sensory processing disorder and on the autism spectrum. He began Babies Can’t Wait until he aged out then transitioned to receive services in the school system which he still continues to get today. He still has fine motor skill and speech issues, but he is high functioning as a straight A student with a compassionate heart, one he has felt he needs to share with a sibling.

When we moved into the house last year, more than once Ian said we now had room for another. I wasn’t convinced. Our lives are unconventional, often chaotic, and who would want any part of that? I mean, there’s a reason I am a single mom with a very small social life: I’m not everyone’s cup of tea.

Long before the move, in early 2020, I acquired family photo albums my mom left behind, several containers of them actually that had initially been thrown into trash bags by my dad in his grief after her passing. I salvaged them at the time but not really going through them for several months. When I did, I discovered that two of them had actually belonged to my Pawpaw and Granny, my mom’s parents, and were full of pictures of people I had never met, most before I was born very likely. I started to flip over the back of the pictures wondering if there were dates or details. Once picture was a young man, probably in his mid-teens. On the back was a note thanking my grandparents for all they did for him during his time in the states. As I flipped through, I noticed more and more pictures of my grandparents with other young teens and members of their Rotary Club down in Pelham, Georgia. I finally put it together that they worked with these young folks as part of exchange student programs, similar to many who went to college with me during my days back at Andrew. I really didn’t have a use for most of these albums (ended up being four of them), so I shipped them down to the Pelham Rotary Club for them to have for their archives. I got a nice letter back telling me that they remembered my grandfather, that he used to be known as Mr. Rotary for all his dedication to them. That made me smile.

In October 2021, I started to see posts being made in some of my Scout leader Facebook groups asking for exchange student host families. Ian’s constant asking for a brother and my realization about my grandparents weighed heavy on my heart and got me to ask questions and look for more information. I had several discussions with Ian about it, wanting him to understand that this would be a commitment he would have to make as well. He jumped about it, said we “have to do it,” and so, I started the process of an application and background check. You never really take stock about your life until you are forced to put it all on paper for some strangers to look at you and know they will be judging you if you are fit to have another person in your family. I had to take pictures of the whole house, got friends to come help me move my office furniture out to the garage, and another kind soul gave us bedroom furniture appropriate for a teen boy. I had to write essays about our lives, who we are, what we do, what we think we could offer to someone else. In all honesty, I had expected to be rejected because I was a single parent, knowing that it is still a taboo for a lot of people. I had to give references of people who would have to say that I was at least safe enough to keep someone else’s child alive for a whole year, all the while knowing that I can kill plants in less than 48 hours (in all fairness, I did keep my sister’s plant alive most of last year until I forgot to bring it inside before leaving for a freezing camping trip). And we of course had to introduce the Couch Hippo because, while it is unfathomable to us that anyone would reject her, there are those who are just anti-dog (bless their hearts).

By the beginning of January, we were approved and on the list to start looking for our match. I received a link to go view a catalog of available students, kind of like a Petfinder for teenagers. There are no pictures, no last names, only basic details of their first name, likes, dislikes, where they would prefer to live if possible, and what grade level. Unfortunately, no one was seeming to be a match for us: most wanted to play video games, seemed opposed to outside activities. I was starting to feel pressured by the agency to “just pick someone,” but just as I know with picking a pet for a family member, you have to find the right match. About that time, a post came on another Facebook group by someone from a different hosting agency (there are quite a few out there in case you were wondering), so I reached out to them, and started the application process all over again. We were quickly approved (again, to my surprise), and given a link to their catalog of students. The very first one I found was Adrian, and I shot off probably three emails and two facebook messages immediately and said “we need him.” I showed Ian his profile, again, we didn’t have any pictures, only basics: his name, that he was in Spain, would be a 10th grader, loves basketball, plays piano, and, oh yeah, he’s in Scouting. Ian was in agreement that he should be his brother. The easy part was done, now, we had to wait and see if we would be accepted as a match.

On January 20th, we received Adrian’s full profile, his picture, letters from him, his family, and educators about what he hoped to do during his exchange year. We still weren’t told we had a final match, but we were already in love. We both immediately saw that he could pass as Ian’s brother (many of you mentioned this last night), but even more telling was his birthday: six days after Ian’s. We saw pictures of his Scouting activities, video of him playing piano, and his interview telling us about his life in Spain. We posted his profile on our kitchen bulletin board, and we prayed every day while we waited that this would work out. I began nesting anyhow, hitting up Facebook marketplace and thrift stores for second hand uniforms and bedroom decor. I would sometimes just go in and sit in there and imagine what it would be to have the room filled with the life of a teenager.

While we were waiting to be approved, the host organization was working to get Adrian approved through our school system. Our high schools here only allow two exchange students per year, and they have to be approved by the school AND the school board. We wouldn’t know until sometime in February if that was moving forward. Every week, I checked the school board’s website for their public agenda just to see. Finally, on February 15th, I saw it. I sent emails to board members advocating for the approval, and Ian and I went in person following a Scout program to sit and impatiently wait the outcome. We snuck in at the back and took the last seats as someone else was presenting. The very next topic was the exchange students. I am pretty sure I held my breath. They presented the profiles of three students, two for one school, one for the other. The educator explained that they only permitted two per school, what the benefits were for the students to attend. There was a hiccup with one of them, the paperwork wasn’t quite right, and I wondered if that meant it would all be tabled until the next meeting in March, and my heart just about sank. But the chair moved forward to approve the two students, and they did. I could hardly contain the excitement. Up on the panel, I got a smile and a wave from one of the board members I had emailed (we had served on the Y board together years ago), and all felt right. We got back home, I emailed our coordinators and told them he got approved, and we went back to waiting.

On March 21st, we got the notification that the placement had been finalized, we were going to get our Adrian! I was able to email his family to schedule a video chat for us to “meet,” which we did on March 27th. They had not seen any of the photos we had sent yet, so when the camera came on, his mother did a double take and said “oh, they are so similar!” We had a lovely hour chat getting to know them, where Adrian and Ian took turns showing off some of their Lego models, and we talked about ourselves.

We spent the next few months exchanging emails and doing a few more video chats. I continued nesting, and Ian would tell everyone over and over he was getting a “big brother,” and I’d laugh at the squinting eyes of people looking at me and wondering how. It’s been a long process and a lot of anticipation, but we are completely excited about the adventures we are about to have.

My deepest thanks goes out to everyone who helped us to make this possible, who gave or found uniforms, furniture, other clothes or items, baked goods, served as references, and just listened to Ian and I gab about our excitement for our new family member. This is most definitely not something I ever anticipated in my life, but when something in your heart pulls at you so strongly, you just have to follow it and see what happens.